Oh, gosh, give me some Valium and pain killers. It feels like a cat is using my uterus as a scratching pole and I am so on edge when I’m PMSing. I think I need to go to the doctor’s about it, I can’t take it anymore. Turning into Godzilla for a week every month is no fun for anyone in this family. Birth control pills seem to make it worse for me, despite everyone’s recommendations. Instead of being Godzilla for a week, I’m Godzilla all year round when I take BCP. So…not too sure what to do about it. Aside from see a doctor. I’ve been tracking my moods for a while now and it’s definitely PMS.
I’ve been missing Blake like crazy lately so I’ve been especially teary. I was asked to cover admin at work for two weeks and the hours are long and it’s 5 days a week. Usually I only work Thursdays and Fridays; this is the longest I’ve ever been away from Blake. On Tuesday I was gone from 7:30AM til 7PM so I only saw 15 minutes of Blake in the whole 12 hour period, it broke my heart. It’s only been a week and I already find myself feeling disconnected from Blake and what’s going on in his life. The job itself is especially challenging, completely different from my usual position and the stress of that doesn’t help. I can’t wait until next week is over and I can go back to my 2 days per week and looking after my beautiful son. I guess the only up-side is that I’m getting paid more than Daniel is at the moment and Blake’s birthday is in two weeks, so the extra money comes at a convenient time. As far as my own skills are concerned, it’s a personal challenge I guess, but I’ve never been the kind of person who has enjoyed being challenged in areas outside of my comfort zone. My brain simply isn’t wired for dealing with money and numbers and I only had a day to be inducted into the position. I can’t even use logic to figure out certain things; I can’t come to the conclusion that A + B = C if no one has told me that A even exists, you know? I just feel overwhelmed and anxious and full of negative self-talk. Then again, that could also be a PMS thing. Bad timing I guess.
Different topic! The best thing about Blake’s birthday being in July is that we’re always going to have the mid-year stocktake toy sales to take advantage of! We’re going shopping next week for his presents. He’s been great over the last few days, if a little cranky and temperamental during the day, but as long as we’re getting good night’s sleep it’s all good. He’s actually started deliberately slapping Daniel and I in the face when he’s mad, which is absolutely not on. He was in a bad mood and I asked him for a kiss and he yelled at me and slapped my face away! Not sure which approach to take with this one – I’ll be reading my many Baby Bibles (haha) to learn how to control that behaviour. I’ve started using a lot more positivity and reward with Blake. I noticed that we were doing an awful lot of chiding and using angry voices when he misbehaves but we weren’t adequately rewarding him when he does the RIGHT thing, so it’s really no surprise that he’s starting to get a bit rebellious. What’s the point of doing the right thing if you don’t get praise or attention for it? So I’ve started making changes there.
We just applied to MBF again tonight. It’s one of those things that we had to suck up and do eventually, if we want to have more children down the track and considering Daniel’s health issues. Not happy about the extra expense but meh, better than relying on the public system.
Anyway, if anyone notices that I’m on a bit of a hiatus from things like Formspring and other sites, it’s just because I’m busy with work and…work.
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I think there’s a bcp out there that actually helps with PMD. I think it’s Yaz.
I think there’s a bcp out there that actually helps with PMD. I think it’s Yaz.