(I wrote this part three weeks ago.) So, pregnancy is going well thus far. I’ve been thinking more about the birth itself and reading up on various options. I really want my labour to be as natural as possible; should everything go uncomplicated I want a vaginal birth with no drugs or medical intervention (I do not want an episiotomy, epidural, pethidine, forceps etc). I hope that with Daniel and my mother present, I’ll be confident and comfortable enough to accept the pain and get through it. I’m actually quite unsure of my tolerance for pain, I haven’t really had any illnesses or accidents to gauge it by. Until I started using the contraceptive pill I had extremely painful periods to the point of vomiting so I guess labour pains would be something akin to that. But worse. Which I could deal with, knowing that it all had a purpose and would eventually come to an end.
Being pregnant makes me feel so feminine and purposeful; I hope that labour only amplifies those feelings. I love knowing that only a woman can experience this process and that all of these changes happening to my body are all part of such an amazing purpose, the creation of a new life. Yes, pregnancy is damn icky and unpleasant at times, but it’s what these parts of my body have been designed to do. Right now it’s actually NORMAL for me to have immense amounts of hair all over me, oily hair and a rapidly expanding stomach, sleep for hours upon hours a day, feel hungry as hell but nauseated at the same time…I feel like a big unhealthy blimp yet it’s aaaall normal and I can get away with it, haha.
I’m now eighteen weeks pregnant. At sixteen weeks we had an ultrasound and found out that our little bundle is going to pee standing up! We didn’t think the sex would be so obvious at sixteen weeks but there it was, his boy parts were all on display, no question about it. No more than a week after we saw our healthy baby boy on that scan I had another bleed (on top of the one I had at five weeks or whenever it was), so we went into the hospital and the obstetrician informed us that the placenta was low-lying and had partially come away from the wall of the uterus (placental abruption), with some bleeding and clots behind it. Since the external bleeding had stopped and my cervix was closed, she told me to stay in bed for a week and then have another scan in a week. I had no further bleeding but had aching pains in my lower tummy and back. We went for the check-up scan yesterday and we were told that my placenta had dropped lower and was lying over my cervix, a condition called placenta praevia (my cervix was thankfully still closed and “looked good at 4cm long”, whatever the significance of that is). Again, being only 18 weeks, there’s not a lot to do but stay on house arrest taking it easy and hoping that as the baby grows he pushes it up and out of the way. We go back for a second check-up on Wednesday, which I’m thankful for as I was in tears with tummy pains again yesterday. I’m off work for two weeks and Daniel doesn’t want me to go back at all. We’ll see; I’m thinking of just going back for a couple of days a week so that I can at least feel like I’m being productive.
Anyway. My fat ass is chillin’ with puzzle books and colouring in books. I feel ridiculously unattractive yet I still want sex. I’m like some stinky fat assed greasy haired cellulite blob sludging around all over the place like “uuurrr duuuur wunna bonk?”. Except we’re not allowed to have sex, we’ve been told. Not only are we not allowed to have sex, I’m not even allowed to orgasm or do anything that might get my uterus all excited and quivery. Hey, I’m no doctor. It probably works like that.
I haven’t significantly felt Blake (that’s his name) move yet. I feel the occasional prod that could easily be mistaken for a particularly large fart on it’s travels. I think it’s funny when Daniel puts a hand on my belly and gets excited over my gastric eruptions. But no, jokes aside, I am sure I’ve felt him now and then at this point. Nothing significant though…except for last night when it felt like he put an arm through my kidney. Dunno what he was doing, probably ripping up the placenta a bit more. This one’s gonna be trouble.
